jawsandbones:

Hello anon! Thank you so much for asking me! 

I do feel that their pasts and upbringing are very similar. The way they choose to deal with their personal history and their drama are wildly different. 

Zevran was orphaned shortly after birth. He was raised in a brothel until the age of seven, until he was bought by the Crows. He didn’t join the Crows, he didn’t have a choice. If you bring Zevran with you to the Circle tower and into the Fade, you can see a taste of what his upbringing was like. An orphan, raised in a brothel, bought and sold, but Zevran wants to live as much as he wants to die so he tries to be ‘worthy’ of the Crows. Of the eighteen recruits that went through training with him, only two survived – Zevran, and Taliesen. 

Fenris was born to an elven slave in Tevinter, and had a sister. By all means, he could have even had a happy childhood. That was all taken from him when he participated in a ‘tournament’ to have his mother and sister freed. (”You said you didn’t ask for this, but that’s not true. You wanted it, you competed for it.”)The reason why he fought was lost to him, and anything that came before. He effectively orphaned himself. His master became his whole world and so Fenris tried to be worthy of him. There were likely many experiments, but only Fenris survived. 

Zevran throws himself at the Warden because it’s a chance to be free of the Crows. A chance to die and pretend that it’s not the outcome that he wanted. Unless you’re deep into a romance with Zevran, he never talks about what happened to him and how he feels about it. Any companion dialogue that tries to pry into his past and what he’s done is immediately shut down. With humor and jokes, because it’s easier to shift the topic and chuckle than it is to face it. He lies and laughs because he can barely process his own guilt and depression. It takes him so long to open up to the Warden. 

Fenris wears what’s been done to him like armor. Besides the fact that there’s hardly anyway to hide it – it’s literally embedded in the skin. No you can tell, just from the way he is and acts and how he’ll openly admit he was a slave. It’s noticeable in his idle animations, and the way he stands and runs. He is always looking left and right, over his shoulder. Shifting from foot to foot, slightly hunched over so he can reach his sword easier. He’s afraid. He doesn’t trust his freedom, he doesn’t trust Kirkwall, he barely trusts himself. The first time you meet him, he runs into that mansion shouting, “face me! Danarius!” As if he isn’t scared to death. 

Zevran doesn’t believe himself worthy of love and affection but Fenris craves it like water. Fenris risks everything to find Varania, to find his family. He probably knew, from the moment he first started thinking about finding her, about the risk of Danarius. He states it when he asks Hawke to come along – he believes it’s a trap. But he still goes. He’s spent so long running and lying to himself that he could take on Danarius by himself, but the only time he ever faces Danarius is to get to his family. This thing that he wants so badly betrays him, gives him up to the monster who tortured him, and unless Hawke talks him out of it, Fenris will kill Varania.

Taliesen was the only other recruit that survived with Zevran. They grew up together, trained together, went on missions together and were close friends. They were likely the only friends they had. Family. The two of them probably got each other through Crow training by support of each other. After a year of being free, of being with the Warden, Zevran faces his one and only friend from his horrible past. If the Warden has shown that Zevran is worth more than his guilt, than his regret, than his past, then Zevran will kill Taliesen.

Fenris fought for his freedom. Tooth and nail, he ran. Looking over his shoulder at every turn, not knowing whether or not the stranger on the street is a hunter or not. Every person is a risk, every connection a chain. 

Zevran fought for his freedom. He asked for an impossible task, because death is the only freedom he could see. Keeping a knife under his pillow, not knowing whether or not the Warden might kill him. By leaving the Crows, he passed his chain to the Warden. 

Hawke asks for nothing in return for Fenris’s friendship. They aren’t looking to use him as a bodyguard, a weapon, a mindless beast for their will. They ask him on every job, pay him coin, help him find the freedom he’s looking for. 

The Warden asks for nothing in return for Zevran’s friendship. They never order him to kill some helpless target, they give him a purpose and sense of will he never had. They ask him to train them, give him gifts, help him find the freedom he’s looking for. 

Both Zevran and Fenris initially walk away from the romance. Fenris is confronted by the fact that he isn’t whole and that the shackles of being a slave still rankle around his soul. 

Zevran tries to show affection but can’t put it into words, can’t admit that he is more than a Crow anymore.They taught him not to feel but now he is, and that makes him that orphan again, makes him vulnerable. 

Zevran laughs through his pain. Fenris wears it on his sleeve. Fenris is angry with what’s been done to him. Zevran is miserable with what he’s done. Fenris breaks bottles against walls, Zevran attempts to lose himself in pleasure. They both have found some sort of freedom but doesn’t know what it means or where to go from there. They want connections but fear them, want to be loved but are afraid of betrayal.

And when they’ve put distance between their past and those who held their chains? They both have dry wit, are extremely clever, flirt with ease and with charm, and are able to be themselves. Hawke and the Warden help them make peace with what’s been done to them and help them face the future. 

I find it interesting that they both use the same line when in a romance with the Warden and Hawke – “I am yours.” I think it must have stunned the Warden and Hawke at first. Especially knowing their history. But – they aren’t submitting themselves back into slavery. They give their feelings willingly because they want to, because Hawke and the Warden have earned it. 

They are both incredibly complex and layered characters. If they sat down and talked, I think they’d find they have a lot of common ground.